Human AU And Others Shenanigans
by kallistob
Summary: Martha and Dracula meet for the first time disguised as vampires at a Halloween party. Things can only get better from there. A collection of short stories inspired by fic prompts and ideas I've read about, all reunited in one place.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello there!**

 **Before you start reading this, I want to clarify a few things. This is _not_ the fic I mentioned at the end of Breaking Point. That one turned into a much bigger project than I expected and I still need to figure out stuff before you guys get to see the actual first chapter. It was made even more difficult by the hellish month I've just spend, but I hope I'll be able to start posting it during the next spring holidays! **

**So what is this? This is me who yesterday went looking at some fic prompts on Tumblr and went "why the hell not". So this is going to be a collection of short stories based on different fic prompts, that I will more or less follow.**

 **This one was:**

 **"Everyone thinks we came to this party as a couple because our costumes match what's your name AU". It is starring human Martha and "Dracula", and... Well, you'll see for yourself. See you at the end of this for more precisions!**

 **–***–**

* * *

Martha sighed. The Halloween party was in full blast, yet she only felt tired and more than a little bored, having gone through intense exams for the past week. She longed for rest, but her best friend had invited her, arguing that she really needed to get out and that they hadn't seen each other in months. Convinced at first, the young woman was now regretting her decision to come. Not to mention said friend had left her to go dance with others when she saw how much Martha didn't feel like partying.

She took a sip of her drink and leaned against the wall, observing people around her. There were a few witches, some zombies, werewolves… she noticed a pink unicorn among the midst of Halloween disguises and raised an eyebrow. _That_ was perhaps scarier than anything else she'd seen so far, and it had the benefits of being original - contrary to her costume. She'd taken the first idea that came to her mind, thinking that it would suit her well. A vampire. She'd bought a cape, fake fangs, and wore a black dress as well as scarlet fingerless gloves.

The music got louder, changing to a popular song. She scowled as everyone around yelled back and started to dance way too excitedly for her liking.

 _That does it. I'm out._

Leaving her spot and glass of punch behind her on a table, she started to look for the exit. Taking out her phone on the way, she texted her best friend, saying that she didn't feel well and apologizing for leaving early. Just as she was typing out the last line, someone bumped into her violently and sent her mobile to the floor. Random Douchebag didn't even apologize. Gritting her teeth, she bent down to grab the device, but the feet of a dancer kicked it away. Cursing, she hurried to where it was before anyone could notice it. Luck was not on her side, however, as a group of a dozen of people suddenly passed by her, blocking both her view and her path.

"Oh, fucking hell."

When she is finally able to get through, her phone is, of course, nowhere in sight. Looking everywhere around in desperation, she finally spotted it, in the hands of a tall man walking away. It was easily recognizable even from a distance due to the little voodoo doll she had tied to it. She ran after him, bumping into a few people, her temper growing shorter by the minute.

He seemed to slow down and she saw he was talking with another Unknown Guy. She reached them, out of breath, and snatched the phone right out of his hands. The tall man frowned at her in confusion and made a move to take it back but she'd already turned and started to walk away, bracing the crowd once again. Finally finding the door leading to the garden, she went outside and plumped down on the first bench she saw. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes, wishing she could be home.

"Excuse me. Is that phone yours?"

Her short moment of peace was interrupted by a deep voice, with an accent she couldn't exactly place. She opened her eyes and saw the man from earlier standing in front of her.

"Yes, it is," she replied defiantly. She saw him hesitate.

"Could you prove it?" he asked. "I picked that phone off of the floor, and I know I'd hate it if mine was stolen, so I wouldn't want that to happen to anyone else. I doubt you're a thief, otherwise you'd have run away pretty quickly, but still…"

She grunted but complied, getting his point. Switching off the phone, she turned it back on, showing him the lock screen asking for her PIN code. Typing it in, she held out the phone again for him to see it properly unlocked. He nodded, satisfied. Sighing, she put her mobile back into the small black purse she was carrying, hoping he would leave her alone now.

He didn't. She felt the bench bending slightly under his weight as he sat down next to her.

"Difficult week?"

His tone was surprisingly gentle. A moment of silence went by before she replied.

"You could say that. College. Exams."

"Ah, don't mention it," he grimaced. "I'd want nothing more than to be home right now, but I promised a friend I'd be there."

Martha nodded, understanding him too well.

"… Which friend was it?"

"Victor. Very tall, big dude?"

"Wait… Is he the one currently disguised as Frankenstein and eating all the food?"

He chuckled at her answer. "That's him alright. He doesn't go unnoticed easily."

"No, I guess he doesn't," Martha smiled.

"Contrary to us. Vampires are very cliché, we could have made an effort."

"Hey, it works," she shrugged. "Besides, it's better than being part of the crowd of witches there is inside. Where has creativity gone?"

"Don't say that!" he gasped, looking frightened. "They'll hear you and curse you, turn your head into a pumpkin and stuff it with candy!"

Martha laughed at that, and he grinned back. For the first time, she actually looked at him. He was indeed dressed as a vampire. His skin was quite pale, much like herself, and he sported a black suit as well as a long velvety looking cape. His dark hair was slicked back, his eyes a light cerulean blue. He was actually quite handsome. Her eyes widened as she suddenly remembered something.

"Oh my God, you're the one who's my so-called boyfriend!" she exclaimed.

"W-what?" he stuttered. She noticed he was blushing, and chuckled at his reaction. "There was this girl at the party earlier who asked me if I was here with my vampire boyfriend because she had seen a guy dressed just like me. Apparently you're him!"

"Well... So much for originality," he smiled sheepishly. "We even have the same cape!"

"Don't tell me… You bought it at 'Demons Fancy Dress'."

"You got me."

She laughed again. Silence fell for a moment, but it wasn't uncomfortable.

"The fangs are real, though," he said after a while. She rolled her eyes at him.

"Sure they are. And I'm the actual Queen of England."

"Royalty talking to Royalty. This is a good conversation."

"Oh? And since when were you part of a royal family?"

"My name is Count Dracula," he deadpanned with the most serious face. "The Prince of Darkness and all that. You should fear me, Human."

"Ooooh, I'm scared. Are you going to eat me?"

As soon as that sentence left her mouth, Martha slapped herself mentally. That was the lamest thing she'd ever said when trying to flirt with someone. But he didn't seem to mind. Getting closer, he stared at her intently, smirking.

"Maybe I will," he replied, voice much lower. She shivered at the promises his gaze held. Before she could utter a response, however, a voice coming from the house resonated in the garden.

"All the lovebirds hiding outside, get your asses back in here! It's time for the surprise Halloween cake, lovingly prepared by the party planners, so if you want a bite you'd better hurry!"

Silence fell again as the woman got back inside. "Dracula" rose from the bench and offered his hand to her like a proper gentleman.

"Well, shall we go?" he asked. She nodded, amused at his behavior. Rising gracefully, she linked their arms together, leading the both of them back to the party.

"We shall."

"Wait," he said after a minute of silent walking. "I don't even know your name yet."

The young woman looked at him, an idea popping into her head. She let go of his arm and grabbed his collar, pulling him down to her face level. He took in a sharp intake of breath as she lightly trailed her other hand down his chest. His pupils widened when she leaned in slowly, getting closer and closer to his mouth. At the last moment she turned away, and he felt her breath on his cheek and her voice in his ear as she whispered her name.

 _Martha._

She let go and went back to the house quickly. Turning back when she reached the door, she saw him just a couple of meters away from her, grinning.

"Oh, this is _so_ on," he whispered. Her smile widened as she finally entered the house and joined the party, him following suit behind.

Maybe this night wouldn't be so bad after all.

* * *

 **–***–**

 **They're cuties and I love them.**

 **This one was quite short, maybe other chapters will be longer, I don't know. I don't really have plans for this , I just... Go with the flow, look at stuff, get inspired or not and write. You guys can also leave me ideas in the comments because why not!**

 **Thank you for reading, and I hope you liked it. There's more to come!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello !**

 **Based on this prompt : "I meant for that snowball to hit my friend but you came around the corner at the last second and now we're having a snowball fight" AU! Drac/Martha. I really think this collection of one-shots will just be about them, unless I suddenly get inspired by Mavis/Jonathan. Who knows.**

 **–***–**

* * *

"I feel like my toes are about to fall off!"

Martha looked at her friend and rolled her eyes. Eunice always found something worth complaining about.

Snow had fallen the night before, covering the small town in white powder. Wrapped from head to toe in warm clothes, the three women had met at the local park and were now calmly strolling in an alleyway, catching up with each other.

"Quit your whining and enjoy the view," Wanda berated. "You should have worn another pair of socks. We'll be home soon anyway."

"Speaking of home, how are the kids?" Martha inquired.

"Oh, they're unbearable!" Wanda chuckled. "Came to our bedroom this morning jumping and screaming excitedly about how it was Christmas all over again. They forced Wayne out of bed just so he could open the door to go outside. Then of course they all engaged in a snowball fight. He was still in his pajamas! It's a good thing he's so healthy, otherwise he really would have fallen ill."

Both her friends laughed at her reply.

"The day Wayne is sick is the day the world ends," Martha teased.

"I wish Frank was the same," muttered Eunice. "But he's currently bedridden."

"What? Why?"

"Ate too much."

The dark-haired woman snorted. The three of them walked silently for a bit before conversation resumed.

"Ah, to be a kid and get excited about things as simple as snow," Eunice sighed. "The only thing its doing is making me wish I'd taken a radiator with me."

"What are you talking about?" Martha said incredulously. "I still get super excited about snow! Where has your inner child gone?"

"Thrown away when I first paid taxes."

"That's the saddest thing I've ever heard," the other woman replied, shaking her head. "No, no, we need to do something about this. Wanda, help me. She needs to have fun like a kid again."

"Well… I recall mentioning something about a snowball fight earlier…"

Eunice's eyes widened and she turned to Martha, glaring threateningly. The other woman was crouched down and quickly picking up snow in her gloved hands.

"Don't you dare –ooh my god!"

Martha had thrown the snowball at her friend, right in her face. Her aim was slightly off and it splattered against the scarf instead, making Eunice squeal when some of it found a way inside her coat.

"Aaaah! Cold! Cold cold cold! You are _so_ paying for this!"

"As if!" her attacker teased. "You're probably too scared to ruin your makeup to put up any real challenge!"

"I'll let you know, lovely…" Eunice started, bending down to amass some snow, "that this kind of sophisticated makeup took ages to apply…" the snowball was forming very rapidly, getting bigger by the minute, "…and that I won't let you criticize it! _En garde_!"

Martha laughed and started to run away, pursued by Eunice who tossed the snowball at her. She avoided it easily enough, and soon they were engaged in a full blown fight while Wanda watched them from afar, smiling at their antics. She resumed her walking, knowing her friends would catch up with her.

Indeed, Eunice was starting to tire and regret her decision to wear heels. They were not exactly the most perfect shoes to go around playing in the snow. She needed something to get back at her friend that did not involve running after her endlessly. She looked over to Wanda, and noticed a man further away about to cross her path.

 _Now or never_ , Eunice thought, a plan forming in her mind that would be just the right amount of embarrassing for her friend. This guy was part of it whether he wanted to or not. She ran to the alleyway. He suddenly stopped and knelt down, apparently tying his shoelaces. This was perfect. Martha was not far behind her, if her laughter was any indication. Eunice placed herself a couple of meters away from the man and turned to face Martha. She was grinning and coming closer to her, snowball at the ready. Instead of running away, Eunice crossed her arms and stared defiantly at the other woman.

"Well?" she asked. "Go on! I'm right there! Or is your aim really that bad? I mean, when you look like you just fell face first in the snow while I still look perfect, one could wonder-"

Martha threw the snowball with all her strength. Eunice avoided it easily, revealing the man kneeling behind her, and watched in anticipation as it described a perfect arc of a circle before smashing right into his profile.

Martha's mouth dropped open in shock.

"Oh my god," she breathed, mortified. "I just threw snow in his face. I attacked him with snow!"

"Yes, I saw that," Eunice whispered back, a satisfied smile on her face. Martha looked at her suspiciously, frowning.

"Wait… Did you plan all this?"

"Might have, might not have," her friend shrugged. "I'll join Wanda and leave you with him to apologize like a proper adult. See you!"

She nudged Martha in the stranger's direction and hurried away before her friend blew up. She was extremely proud of herself. Resisting the urge to scream, the younger woman cautiously approached her 'victim'. He had stood up and was rubbing the snow off of his face with his sleeve. Hearing him sniff, she reached inside her purse and took out tissues to offer him one. He thanked her in a whisper and blew his nose, then turned to face her.

Strands of black wet hair were clinging to his face. His red cheeks were the only color on his otherwise pale, almost ghostly skin, which brought out his blue eyes. He looked…

 _Adorable._

"I am so, so sorry," she blurted out. "I never meant to hit you in the face with that and I'm actually pretty sure my friend tricked me into doing it and I was targeting her and not you and I was the one that started the snowball fight and – and are you okay? I hope I didn't hurt you? If I did-"

He held up a hand and she blushed and stopped stammering.

"Stop! It's okay, really," he reassured her. She noted his accent and wondered where it was from. "No harm done. Just a little cold is all. You, um… You and your friends? You were quite funny to observe."

"We were behaving like kids," she laughed nervously. "I really should have seen you earlier, I am incredibly sorry."

"I've seen worse," he said smoothly. "I'll survive. Although…"

"Yes?"

"Although I have to find a way to get back at you for that."

A mischievous smile suddenly appeared on his face and he hunkered down, gathering up snow much like she was doing minutes before. Understanding his intentions, she stepped back and started to get away. He caught up with her quickly and she let out a squeal when the cold snow came in contact with her head. Giggling, she quickly brushed it off and immediately sought out her revenge. Getting snow, she turned to him and savored the look of surprise on his face. He clearly thought she would be done and that they were even.

He didn't know her.

–***–

The duel ends a few minutes later, both of them out of breath. She hadn't had this much fun in a long time, and, given the way he was looking at her, neither did he.

 _He's practically beaming_.

She opened her mouth but the words she intended to form died in her throat as she went into a coughing fit. His look shifted to one of concern and he walked up to her, noticing her shivers. He hesitated very briefly before taking off his long coat and placing it on her back.

"Wha- No, take it back, you'll freeze to death!" she protested.

"I'll be fine," he shook his head. She stared at him. Men and their pride.

"You're shuddering as much as I am. Both of us need to warm up quickly," she said, biting her lips. Where could they go? She didn't live far, but bringing him home when she barely knew him…

"Well, I know a great coffee shop that's just a few minutes away," he offered. "It's called… I don't remember the name, but they make really great cookies."

Her eyes lit up at the mention of baked goods, and she nodded her approval. They both departed, finding their way back to the park exit, all the while chatting amiably.

"So you work in a hotel?"

"I'm the hotel manager," he corrected. "Today was my first day off for the first time in a long while. Can't say I expected it to go this way, but I'm not regretting it."

"Neither am I," she smiled. "I'm Martha, by the way. I don't think we've had the time to introduce ourselves yet?"

"Indeed not. Vlad," he said, reaching out to shake her hand. "You can also call me Drac. That's what my friends do."

She raised an eyebrow.

"Vlad Dracula," he muttered. "They all claim I have the perfect face to play him in a movie."

"Well now that you mention it…"

He groaned and she chuckled. It clearly annoyed him.

"Didn't they make another movie about Dracula recently?" she asked. "I remember seeing the trailer. We could…" she hesitated. "I mean… We c-could go and see it together? If you want to? Not that you have to, but it would be nice –I mean…"

She was babbling again and shut her mouth, blushing brightly. He looked startled at her proposition, but his face slowly broke into a wide grin.

"I would love that," he replied softly.

When they reached the coffee shop, he held the door open for her. As she closed her eyes and welcomed the long-awaited warmth, Martha couldn't help but think briefly about Eunice.

If only she knew how well her so-called revenge was turning out...

* * *

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 **I meant to update sooner but I struggled a lot with this one, sorry :( Writer's block and all that. And real life.**

 **Lots of ideas coming up next! Including things like Demon!AU or some cute High School AU stuff. In any case I hope you enjoyed it. Tell me what you think, do not hesitate to point out any typo, and why not propose if you have any other ideas!**


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